Monday, May 09, 2005

North Ronawanda

Hey Ronawanda,

I just wanted to say how fabulous you looked at Mr. Ehmke's performance at the Burchfield-Penney. You're really going all out these days, with all your beautiful flowers pinned to your clothes. I guess it just shows that you can be as beautiful as I am if you prepare yourself for more that three minutes. I do think Mr. Ehmke did hog the show a bit, giving you a mere 5 minutes of time, when you should have been running the show. I think you should take a page from my book, and send him away in a tempest, so you can claim your rightful place as the Queen of Everything. I'm hoping he'll give you a bit more time when you visit my hometown of North Tonawanda on May 21st at the Carnegie Art Center. I'll be very disappointed if I come for the cream filling and all I get is stale Hostess cake. Not that I don't like Mr. Ehmke. He just doesn't have your grand charms. He doesn't give candy to strangers, either. Well, Miranda sends her love (though she's giving most of her love to some Slick Willy who claims he used to be president. That little hussy, leaving me home all alone night after night, with nothing but Despearte Housewives and a bottle of Tequila Rose to keep me company, sobbing over lost loves, aching for some attention). And we should get together real soon. We haven't had a girls night out in ages.

Love,
North Ronawanda

1 comment:

Ron said...

Hey, North--
I know, girl, I know: I think the people of your hometown are hungry for an evening with RONAWANDA AND HER OR HIS VERY SPECIAL GUESTS, instead of having to listen to my alter ego go on and on about this and that-- in his utterly drab and unappealing clothes, no less. But what can you do? I will make the most of my 5 minutes if that's all he gives me, because that's just the kind of super trouper I am.

But enough of that talk. We have to start cookin' up batches of vanilla pudding for the Cabaret's upcoming float in Buffalo's pride parade! Put on that naughty apron I bought ya for Evil Twin Sister's Day last year, and let's get goin'.

--Rona