Claire

I would really like to thank the Real Dream Cabaret for helping me find my baby, despite the nasty nipple biter that she is. If it weren't for the help of your audience, my baby may have been trapped underneath that table for an eternity, or at least until she starved to death.

I've never been to the Cabaret before, but it seems as if you have quite an odd show. It was exactly like I dreamed it would be. In fact that reminds me of a dream that I had last night where I got on this bus to leave Buffalo with this large group of very old people. It was around 11 o'clock, and I had no idea where we were going, but I was by far the youngest person on the bus. As the bus approached the intersection of Delevan and Main, we had a terrible accident and were flipped over on our side. I was the only person who was still conscious after the accident, so I crawled out the side of the bus (which was now the top), and went looking for help. I stumbled onto the Canisus College campus, and went to a building I believe to be their student union, though I've never been inside of the building in my entire life. I approached the door, and heard some sort of chanting. After I knocked, a woman in a brown monk robe answered the door, and at that moment I realized that she was Satan and I was God, and that we were about to have a fight over the souls of the world. I looked in my purse and found the handle of a sword which had been broken off, and only an inch of the blade remained, but I knew that this was the only sword that could kill Satan. We had a huge fight, which lasted for hours, until I had her pinned down on a bed, and began repeatedly cutting her with the inch of the sword that remained. As I stabbed her she began to shrink, until she was the size of a pinky finger, and I locked her in a very small box and put her in my pocket. I was so exhausted after the fight, and all I could think about was getting something to eat. I stumbled through the pale blue glow of early morning into a diner across the street and ordered one fried egg and a piece of onion toast.

Well, I think that's about all for me. Thanks again.