Saturday, November 06, 2004

Sigmund the Sad

Election Day was quite a sad day for me. First the "real" magician, Todd Nelson forced me off stage, after I accidentally pulled the handle off his sword, leaving the sword lodged in Security Mom's neck. Then, Bush was re-elected.

I've been asking myself over and over how this could happen, and then I realized that Bush is in with some really dark powers. During my stay in the Underworld, where I trained with the Devil himself, I met some other magicians who were training for more dastardly deeds than simply being able to tell someone psychically which card they selected. Dick the Dastardly, Colin the Cancerous and Donald the Distasteful were training their magical powers so they could fix the election for George W. Bush.

So now I have a magical answer for everyone who would like to reverse the decision reached through underhanded use of magical powers. Through my training with Satan, I have found out that you can truly make people disappear at will, never to return to the face of the earth. Of course, there are a lot of people we will need to make disappear before we will get to a leader worth leading, but if everyone concentrates on George W. disappearing into thin air at midnight every night for the next month, at the end of the month he will evaporate, never to be seen again. We'll need a lot of mental power to make this work, so tell all of your friends and enemies to join in the fight, and we'll never have to hear the words Mission Accomplished, No Child Left Behind or Anti-Abortion again.

Sigmund the Sad

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