My human colleagues in the RDC are a fickle lot. Last week (when the theme was "The Islands") I was the debutante, receiving critical hosannas for my career-defining role in "The Island of Dr. Milbrando" and praised by the cast for saving the show from the brink of disaster. I was even awarded a special hanger backstage, so that I may appear at any time my human friends need salvation--which seems to be mighty often, if you ask me.
That was then. This is now: Friday night (opening night of "Land of the Lost") I hung on my hanger, muter than ever, with no part whatsoever in the script. Is this the thanks I get??? Meanwhile, the new girl--the two-and-a-half-foot Barbie doll who looks like she stumbled in from a dumpster behind Toys R Us (talk about an airhead!)--is cast as Cha-Ka, lead resident of the jungle kingdom.
A lesser swine would have complained about this diminutive hussy's obvious "All About Eve" turn. (Last week the little bimbo was my understudy, damnit.) But no. I hung there, voluntarily keeping silent, until I could stand it no longer. During the ensuing musical performance by Bob's Power Crystals, I joined Cha-Ka and Dopey the Dinosaur for a spontaneous (if wordless) choral cameo.
Saturday night, my impromptu appearance was more prominently featured and I gave myself a larger part in the jungle scene (even as Mini-Barbie's role expanded to elephantine proportions). But for god's sake, my true talent remains untapped. What will it take for the humans to recognize my potential? Am I just yesterday's news? The Fiona Apple of the cabaret orchard?
Not if I have anything to do with it, that's for damn sure.
--PTMS
Ingenuity WoyUbu
14 years ago
2 comments:
Sorry, but I don't think the author of that last comment is the real Friday. I know Friday; Friday is a friend of mine. You, sir or ma'am, are an impostor. And I will not heed one word of your nonsense.
Meanwhile, my fortunes in the RDC continue to ebb and flow: In the "Underworld" show, I played Orpheus, a role of major mythological significance. On election night, however, I was again reduced to a cameo. Life is unfair! What is a mute swine to do but post his occasional comments on a blog?
You humans, on the other hand, have far bigger worries now. You have my sympathy as you stumble towards self-destruction. The time of annhilation is at hand. May your end be as painless as possible under the circumstances.
Mutely,
PTMS
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